I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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