her vagine was all disorganized.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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