this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
