Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
