so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize