I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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