Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
