My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize