i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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