btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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