yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
