I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
