she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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