bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize