Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
