He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
