Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
