He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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