420 ftw
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
