you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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