i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
