is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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