In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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