Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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