Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
His nipple licking is glorious
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