i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
