yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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