ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize