would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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