Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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