If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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