I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
