It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
