If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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