My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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