I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
