he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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