you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
