loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Banned from zoo.
Again?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
