This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
