we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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