Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
