my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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