I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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