He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
