i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Randomize