I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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