I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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