i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
