READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
