Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
