You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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