Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
