you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
