thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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