I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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