this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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