Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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