i jhust puked up my retainher.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
