I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize