Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
