she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
