that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
