There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
