Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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